Question_women_help!!

[seekeroftruth]

Can someone get hold of an sheikh and ask this question, my aunt asked this to me via an e-mail and would like it to be answered 'quickly', anyone, help me? rewards?

sadiq!

-----------------------------

My question:

A woman's duty is to obey, respect and please her husband. And that he has the
responibility of protecting her and taking care of her living expenses, food,
clothing and shelter.

Based on this information, it seems to me that the reason that the wife is
expected to obey her husband is because he is suppose to be providing for her.
But what if the woman is working and the husband tells her that since she
works she should take care of her expenses herself. Is she still inclined to
obey and respect him? If she has to take care of herself, and he is relieved
of his responsibility of providing for her. Meaning he is forcing her to work
in order to take care of herself, just because she can...she is educated and
has a degree, and is capable of earning for herself. But at the same time he
is capable of providing for both of them, but makes her work just because she
is educated.

In such a situation is a woman still inclined to obey and give her husband the
same respect that would be expected of her if he was fulfilling his obligation
of providing for her?

[servant_of_Allah]

Assalamu Alaykum Brother !

I forwarded your question to a Muslim scholar. He replied as follows:

" It is a very well known Islamic injunction that a husband is responsible for maintaining his wife. If he does not maintain her then she should either seek a divorce or she should accept the situation in which she has to maintain herself. In the event that she voluntarily agrees to maintain herself that does not absolve her of the responsibility to be obedient to her husband."

Insha Allah, i hope this proves helpful.

Wassalamu Alaykum,
Servant of Allah.

[seekeroftruth]

Mashallah, a very 'quick' response. I hope you are well, brother, sister?

Inshallah you will be rewarded for your efforts. Just one more thing, the name? of the scholar, if possible?

Take care and keep up the good work!!

SadiQ!!

[Lulua]

Assalaamu alaikum.

Because of your apparent need for a quick reply, I have not forwarded this question on to a qualified scholar. However, what I have to say here is based on what I have learned from listening to scholars speak on this topic, as well as what I have learned from the hadith.

Education is something highly regarded in Islam, and even recommended for all...women and men alike. However, regardless of their levels of education, the man is responsible for providing for his wife and family, much the same as the woman is reponsible to taking care of and obeying her husband. This remains their mutual responsibilities and duties within the family unit regardless of their respective levels of education and regardless of their jobs or occupations.

Whether a woman chooses to work or not (outside the home) and the man approves of this situation...regardless if they need her income or not...still it should not be to the detriment of the family unit as a whole. In other words, her obligations to the family and her husband remain the first and foremost of all things. If she can balance both, then she should and can remain constant with her occupation. However, if she cannot balance both, and the family unit somehow suffers because of this job, then she should refrain from working outside the home.

The same goes for the man...if he can help out with the family as well as provide for them, then he should and is encouraged to do so. But if helping out with the family at home comes in the way of providing for them their sustenance, then the first priority here is that he concentrate his efforts and time to providing for them.

This is also all backed up by the Quran, where it tells us that males were endowed with more strength than the women...and that is in part the reasoning for putting the butt of the responsibility of providing upon the man...because he can and does endure the more strenuous life of providing for his dependants.

Allah knows best.

Hope that this has helped you in some way.

Lulua.

[Dr Qaisar]

As-salaamu-alaikum.

With respect to the above question, it is an indisputed established fact in Islam and according to the Qur'an & sunnah of the Prophet (PBUH) that the primary financial responsibility of the family including the wife is placed upon the husband. This responsibility enjoined upon the husband also entails the provision of "protection" of the family & all its members, which implies financial, physical and social etc. responsibity and protection to the best of the husband's ability. Indeed, the Qur'an states that Allah has given the husband more physical strength for this very purpose!! There is no financial obligation on the part of the wife to contribute to the economic well-being of the family according to the provisions of Islam!! But if she chooses, out of own accord and desire, to work then there is no hindrance of any kind after seeking the permission of the husband. In this sense, Islam places the husband as the head of the family unit. Under no circumstance can the husband absolve himself of his resposibilty of any kind towards his wife & family, except of course, for reasons beyond his control eg. physical incapacitation, illness etc. Yet at the same time the wife should not complain about the amount of money that the husband earns to the best of his ability and should manage with even the meagre resources that the husband lawfully earns.

As a necessary corollary, the wife should continue to respect and obey her husband as long as the husband provides for her to the best of his abilty. But the husband cannot force his wife to work or earn against her wishes. As has been rightly pointed out above, if it turns out that the husband is wilfully not providing for the wife & family and forces the wife to work & earn against her wishes, then such a case shall be deemed to have been one of "desertion" of the husband's obligation & responsibilty towards the wife & family and in such a situation Islam provides for dissolution of the marriage and legally according to the Sharia, the wife can ask for "release" from marriage (called "khula").

I hope this helps. Alternatively, if inspite of the above provision, the wife wishes to continue with the marriage, then she is free to do so and the best thing for her to do would be to Pray to Allah to show the right Way to her husband and guide him (the husband) to discharge his obligations.


Wa-salaam.
Dr.Qaisar

[servant_of_Allah]

Assalamu Alaykum !

I am a brother, Alhamdulilah.

The name of the scholar is Shaykh Imran N. Hosein

Wassalamu Alaykum,
Servant of Allah.

[seekeroftruth]

Mashallah, very good responses from everyone!!

Just another question if i may ask, from the 'same' aunt!! Do you mind? Sharing knowledge is a very 'special' aspect of being a muslim, right?

This is the question;

Marriage is half our deen. And he who does not marry is not of my ummah the
statements of our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)

Does this mean that one who has reached the age of when they can marry, but
dies before marriage, than half of their deen was not complete when they died?
Or does this only apply to someone who had no intention of marriage at all?

If a person just says that they never want to marry. Is this person considered
a kuffar? And does this mean that this person will never complete half of
their deen?



Thankyou in AdvanCe for your co-operation!!!

SadiQ!

[seekeroftruth]

Salam fellow brothers and sisters!!

How are you?

been away for some time.....

Just wanted an answer to the above question, anyone?

Help me out here!!

Sadiq!!

[seekeroftruth]

ANYONE???


SADIQ!!

[Dr Qaisar]

LAST EDITED ON 11-01-02 AT 01:28 AM (GMT)[p]As-salaamu-alaikum, Bro. Sadiq


>Mashallah, very good responses from everyone!!
>
>
>Just another question if i may
>ask, from the 'same' aunt!!
>Do you mind? Sharing knowledge
>is a very 'special' aspect
>of being a muslim, right?
>

Indeed, sharing of knowledge, especially that of Allah's Deen is an obligation placed on all of us Muslims. Well, Bro.Sadiq, I had actually replied to your question some days back but unfortunately, due to some problem with my system, it could not be sent.


>This is the question;
>
>Marriage is half our deen.
>And he who does not
>marry is not of my
>ummah the
>statements of our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)
>
>
>Does this mean that one who
>has reached the age of
>when they can marry, but
>dies before marriage, than half of
>their deen was not complete
>when they died?
>Or does this only apply to
>someone who had no intention
>of marriage at all?


Forgive me, Bro.Sadiq, but it would seem that the questioner (your Aunt?) has misunderstood the abovementioned hadith or has quoted it out context or partially. The problem has, perhaps, arisen because the ENTIRE relevant hadith has not been referred to or quoted. The best way to appreciate & understand the meaning and implication of that hadith is to read the WHOLE hadith, which briefly, goes as follows (for exact words, you may find it in Bukhari):

Upon hearing the above statement of the Prophet (PBUH) that marriage is half of our deen, a Companion (RA) of the Prophet asked, quite innocously, that were he to marry twice or 2 wives, then would he have completed the WHOLE of our DEEN?? Then the Prophet went on to explain the meaning of his statement. He said that nearly half of the sins of this world were related to sins or crimes of passion ie. sins related to our ‘nafs‘ or lower desires. Therefore, as recommended by Allah in the Qur'an, a person should marry, as marriage serves as the natural outlet to satisfy our physical, emotional and spiritual needs & desires!! Mashaa-Allah. In this way, by marrying, a person is prevented from committing such sins or even coming near to these sins and, thus, is prevented from deviating from Allah's Straight Path and is able to complete His deen, by the Will of Allah!! Allah (SWT) has Himself Created for us mates from amongst our selves. Thus, marriage is not only a means for procreation for human beings but also a blessing for His servants in many ways and a way to satisfy our human instincts and to prevent ourselves from falling prey to shameful misdeeds (‘fawahish‘).

There is another related hadith wherein the Prophet (PBUH) said that one who controls what is in his mouth (the tongue) and what his between his legs, (ie. does not misuse them), then he would guarantee Paradise for him! As a corollary, there is no place for celibacy or monasticism for a Muslim in Islam. Therefore, to follow this ‘sunnat‘ (ie. marraige) of the Prophet (PBUH) is the best prescribed way for a believer in Islam.

Having given the proper explantion of the hadith, I shall now attempt to answer your other question. As you know, life and death is in the hands of Allah. Therefore, if a person dies before marriage, it does not mean at all that he/she has been unable to fulfil half of Allah's deen as there are other obligations (‘fardh‘) that we must discharge to fulfil our Covenant with Allah & to complete His deen, as required by Allah!! Indeed, Allah states in the Qur'an that..."those who do not find the wherewithal (ie. means) to marry, then let them be patient till Allah finds a mate for them", (for the exact words & no., please see the Qur'an). And if death were to occur per chance during this period, what would be his/her fault??


>If a person just says that
>they never want to marry.
>Is this person considered
>a kuffar? And does this mean
>that this person will never
>complete half of
>their deen?
>

No, even if a person were unwilling to marry in his/her lifetime, then he/she would still not be considered a "kafir" (plural=kuffar) under any circumstance at all. To be a ‘kafir‘, God-forbid, one must renounce belief in any or all the 6 articles of Islamic Faith (I hope everyone knows what these are!) and surely, not marrying is not included in those 6 articles of Faith. But, nevertheless, that person would not be following the prescribed ‘sunnat‘ of the Prophet (PBUH) and as we all know, following the sunnah of the Prophet (PBUH) is a Command of Allah!! Therefore, at the most, such a person, if he/she does not have a valid excuse, would be guilty or negligent of not following the prescribed way of the Prophet (PBUH), and as some would say, would be doing a ‘sin‘.

Indeed, according to the ruling of some jurists in some school of thought (I don't recollect which one or whose), marriage has been deemed as an obligation (‘fardh‘) on a person who has all the necessary means to support a wife in marriage and if he does not have a valid reason not to do so, according to provisions contained in the Qur'an and the Sunnah of our noble Prophet (PBUH)!!! I hope this helps to some extent.



Wa-salaam
Dr.Qaisar

[seekeroftruth]

Salam Dear brother in islam, Mashallah!!

I am very pleased that you have answered the question for it has been very long........

I hope you are well in health and those members who are reading this message are well too( U, Iam talking to YOU, you alright?)

I hope i will help you and you will help me and by this action we will prosper.

Your insight does surprise me (in a good way) and a good insight for this board. Keep it up.

I hope everyone here has success here on this world and in the next life, inshallah!

SadiQ
Smile for it is a form of charity!!

[Lulua]

Assalaamu alaikum.

Sorry for my terrible delay in response here, br. Sadiq...I have been away for several days from these forums, and only now viewing this thread. Dr. Qaisar has enlightened us all with his wise insight into this matter you have presented. There is really little more to be said. However, I will try to point out to you what I also have understood from the Hadiths mentioned, inshaAllah.

Firstly, in reference to your question that if a person dies while not yet having been married...would that qualify him as 'kufr'? In all mentionings of things which nullify one's Islam, or things which qualify for determining a person 'kufr'...non-marriage has never been listed among those things. Therefore, I understand it that not getting married does not classify a person as 'kufr'.

In Islam, marriage itself is given very high respect even to the point of classifying a person as to have completed half of his religion, if he/she is married. It is the base of society. Without that strong base, then society itself will eventually disintegrate. We see this already in many kufr societies today...which promote and support non-marital relationships and even childbirth without the protection and legality and strength that a legal and binding marriage can and does provide.

What I have understood from this hadith...is not the impression that one, by not marrying...does not necessarily fulfill his requirements of the deen...but rather it (the mentioning that one has completed half the deen by marrying) is an incentive to encourage ppl to marry. Firstly, it is a protection for all concerned from being led into haram activities ('one night stands' or insensitive and non-responsibility-carrying encounters, etc.) or other temptations which lead ppl into committing adultery. Secondly, it is also and incentive to follow the example set for us by our beloved prophet(SAAW). As we are counselled in the Quran...'ye have indeed in the messenger an excellent exempler.'

The marriage relationship is perhaps the most sensitive and personal of all human relationships. We are told in the Quran that the husband and wife are the garments one of the other. Quite a description...can be applied in many more ways than one.

However, we should also remember that the encouragement to become married is not one which also encourages that ppl marry upon impulse or merely desire of fulfilling the requirement of completing the deen. I mean that...one should not rush into any marriage...but should look into it well...and it should feel right before one continues on with it. Marriage is not something simple, nor is it to be taken lightly. And once the final step has been taken by both parties concerned, then a total and all-out effort by both should and must be made to make it work. This is something that must be continued for a lifetime...for marriage is something that more than man himself...needs nourishment and attention daily. Otherwise it will wither and die away...or at the very least become dull and unattractive.

Hope that this helps you even slightly.

Lulua.

[UmmieHurairah]

A husband should provide the wife shelter, food, clothing...etc while he can and not force the wife to work coz the wife's place is at home, taking care of the children and husband's property.
And if the husband still insist that his wife should work and support herself, it isnt right at all. A man should be responsible for all that, he should be the sole breadwinner while he is able to unless he is not, then thats another story.

In other words, both of them must be able to compromse with each other. Consider the other party's feelings and opinions. As a married couple, you should have this commitment of wanting to make each other happy. The husband must not run away from his responsibility in Islam. Thank you.