Humor! Muslims have this?!

[seekeroftruth]

Salam to all!!

As sister lulua posted on IWC in social matters section, as netty realted that we muslims are void of some humor. I found some articles that should be taken as 'humor', nothing else. Hope it helps your journey netty, on this sur-fing net!! Take a look, and let me know what you think!!!

Sadiq

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Surrounded by Muslims

Two business men seated on an airplane noticed a Muslim man sitting in front of them, one of the men says to the other with a wink, "I was going to go to Africa until I found out that half the country is Muslim so I don't want to go there".

The other man says, "We'll how about Saudi Arabia then?"

The first man says "No way, that place is loaded with those Muslims too."

The other man suggests a trip to the US but his companion says "The Muslims have spread out over the whole country every time I turn around there I bump into one."

The men are watching the Muslim, and can see that the Muslim man is fidgeting and getting kind of agitated about their conversation. The fellow who started the teasing decides to really get him mad and says "I really wanted to go to Pakistan but that place is crawling with Muslims"

At this the Muslim man has had it and finally turns around in his seat and sweetly says to the men, "Why don't you both go to hell? There's hardly any Muslims there!"

----------------------------------------------


This is a link to a brothers site, i got via e-mail;

Hamid Syed's Web
http://www.employees.org/~hsyed/humor.html

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Some humor from a brother, who made up the name 'omar', read on, quite good;

>>

Omar is out for a walk. He comes to a river and sees his good friend Nabil on the opposite bank.

"Salam-alaikum Nabil," he shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"

Nabil looks up the river, then down the river, then shouts back, "You already ARE on the other side."

>>

Omar was walking down the street when who else passed beside him but the one and only Yusuf Islam.

"Salam-Alaikum brother Yusuf!!!" Omar said excitedly.

"Alaikum-salam, brother!" replied Yusuf.

"I have this question I have been wanting to ask you for a LONG LONG time, and now, since you are here, may I ask it?"

"Go ahead, brother, you may." replied Yusuf.

"When you became a Muslim, did you cry?"

"Indeed I did." replied Yusuf.

"ME TOO! ME TOO!!!" exclaimed Omar excitedly.

"When did you become Muslim?" asked Yusuf curiously.

"When I was born!!!" Omar replied enthusiastically.

>>

Omar was inside the mosque after prayer. He was looking for his shoes in the foyer, but they were not were he had left them.

"Where are my shoes?" he asked his friend Nabil, who was to the left of him.

"I dunno," said Nabil, and Nabil left the mosque.

"Where are my shoes?" he asked his friend Jafar, who was to the right of him.

"I dunno," replied Jafar, and Jafar left the mosque.

"WHERE ARE MY SHOES?!?!" Omar yelled to the crowd of congregants gathered in the foyer. No one answered him.

Frustrated, Omar screamed at the top of his lungs, "IF YOU DO NOT TELL ME WHERE MY SHOES ARE, I WILL DO WHAT MY FATHER DID WHEN HE LOST HIS SHOES!!!!!"

A man pointed to the corner. "There are your shoes." Omar grabbed them and hustled out of the foyer.

Once outside the mosque, several of his friends who had overheard the scene came up to him.

"Omar, we are your friends," they exclaimed. "Tell us what your father did after he lost HIS shoes."

"Oh," Omar replied, "he just went and bought another pair."

>>



Some article for all to read, if you have any, plz do post it and let us all read and have a 'small' laugh!!

SadiQ!!

[Tita]

I can't Sadiq, I'm still laughing too hard! :-) Thanks!

[Netcurtains]

good one. ;-)

[Tayeb]

Assalamu-alaikum:

Good ones :D brother

Tayeb

[Tita]

If you don't mind my telling a joke about three ministers . . . it's an old one here in the States, but perhaps it will be new to some of you.

Three ministers, a Methodist, a Presbyterian, and a Baptist, met for lunch and began comparing methods used in their churches. The Methodist preacher said, somewhat proudly, "When we collect money from the congregation on Sunday morning, we immediatly give 10% right back to the Lord!"

The Presbyterian said proudly, "We do even better. We give 20% back to the Lord immediately!

The Baptist said smugly, "We do even better. We give it all!"

The others were puzzled. "How do you give it all? What do you live off of?"

"Well," he said, "we just take the collection plates outside and throw them up in the air, and whatever the Lord wants, He keeps!"

I am Baptist, BTW. :-)

[Netcurtains]

LAST EDITED ON 14-02-02 AT 09:00 PM (GMT)[p]A bit subtle for me but it might appeal to Muslims:

Catholic bibles have a book of Apocalypse. Protestants have a book of Revelation!

[Lulua]

And what is truly MOST appealing is:

Muslims have the Quran. It is for those who BELIEVE.

Alhamdulillah.

Lulua.

[seekeroftruth]

Salam to all!!

Mashallah, so may replies...

If i am allowed, i have another couple of stores from our friend 'omar'. Read and plz do have a small laugh!!. Take care and pass it on to others, smile for it is an act of charity.!!

OMAR STORIES COUNTINUED!!!...........
-----------------

One day, Omar decided to go fishing. He called upon his good friend Nabil, got their poles and bait together, rented a small rowboat at the local harbor, and off to sea they went.

After an amazing afternoon of fishing, the two men had caught thirty fish. An elated Omar said to Nabil, "Better mark this spot so we can come here tomorrow!"

The next day Omar met up with Nabil at the rental harbor for another day of fishing.

"Did you mark the spot???" Omar asked Nabil confidentially.

"Yes," replied Nabil, "I painted a big white X on the bottom of the rowboat."

"You fool!!" Shouted Omar and slapped his forehead in disgust, "What if we can't rent that same boat today?!?!?"

>>>

Omar was walking along the street when he passed another man with a lot of stubble on his face standing outside a shop. Omar asked:

"How often do you shave?

Twenty or thirty times a day," answered the man with the stubble.

"What! Surely you must be cursed!" Omar exclaimed.

"No, I am a barber," replied the man with the stubble.


>>>

Omar was on the neighborhood street corner, boasting to his friends.

"Yesterday, when I was in the toughest part of town I made an entire gang of ruthless young hoodlums run."

"Wow!" exclaimed his awed friends in unison.

His good friend Nabil spoke up. "However did you do it?"

"Simple." said Omar, "I ran, and the hoodlums started to run after me..."

>>>

Omar was outside the airport, having just arrived in Algiers from Marseille. He hailed a taxi. The car pulled up next to him and stopped.

"Salaam Alaikum," Omar said, "how much for a ride to Hotel Sofitel??"

"500 dinar", said the taxi driver.

"How about my bags?" Omar said, pointing behind him to four extremely heavy and overfilled suitcases.

"Oh, no worry, we take those along for free." the taxi driver replied.

"Excellent!!!" exclaimed Omar. "You take the luggage to the hotel, but I think I'll take the bus!!"

>>>

And remember it is from brother sadiq, and pass them on.....!!
Should i get 'omar' to join here?...lol!!

Take carE!

Sadiq!!

[Muslihah]

As-Salam-Alaikum Wr Wb

Just reminding here.....Laughing is good in a way, but too much can close up the door of our heart.In another word we will tend to forget more.Try to be moderate in everything that we do.

Volume 2, Book 18, Number 154:
Narrated 'Aisha :

In the life-time of Allah's Apostle (p.b.u.h) the sun eclipsed, so he led the people in prayer, and stood up and performed a long Qiyam, then bowed for a long while. He stood up again and performed a long Qiyam but this time the period of standing was shorter than the first. He bowed again for a long time but shorter than the first one, then he prostrated and prolonged the prostration. He did the same in the second Raka as he did in the first and then finished the prayer; by then the sun (eclipse) had cleared. He delivered the Khutba (sermon) and after praising and glorifying Allah he said, "The sun and the moon are two signs against the signs of Allah; they do not eclipse on the death or life of anyone. So when you see the eclipse, remember Allah and say Takbir, pray and give Sadaqa." The Prophet then said, "O followers of Muhammad! By Allah! There is none who has more ghaira (self-respect) than Allah as He has forbidden that His slaves, male or female commit adultery (illegal sexual intercourse). O followers of Muhammad! By Allah! If you knew that which I know you would laugh little and weep much.

Muslihah

[Rasha]

Good one Lulua

= )

We have a book for every believer! :) for those who want to walk to God.

[Rasha]

I will look inshaAllah for an article i read once about how the prophet encouraged us to have a good sense of Humor etc.

inshaAllah i'll look for it

[Serkan]

The Sultan and the false prophet

A certain man claimed to be a prophet and was brought before the Sultan, who said to him, "I bear witness that you are a stupid prophet!"

The man replied, "That is why I have only been sent to people like you."

(9th century joke)



Nasruddin and the conqueror

A certain conqueror said to Nasruddin:

"Mulla, all the great rulers of the past had honorific titles with the name of God in them: there was, for instance, God- Gifted, and God-Accepted, and so on. How about some such name for me?"

"God Forbid," said Nasruddin.



Nasruddin and the bedouins

"When I was in the desert," said Nasruddin one day, "I caused an entire tribe of horrible and bloodthirsty bedouins to run."

"However did you do it?"

"Easy. I just ran, and they ran after me."



Nasruddin delivers a khutbah (sermon)

Once, the people of The City invited Mulla Nasruddin to deliver a khutba. When he got on the minbar (pulpit), he found the audience was not very enthusiastic, so he asked "Do you know what I am going to say?" The audience replied "NO", so he announced "I have no desire to speak to people who don't even know what I will be talking about" and he left.

The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day. This time when he asked the same question, the people replied "YES" So Mullah Nasruddin said, "Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won't waste any more of your time" and he left.

Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mullah to speak the following week. Once again he asked the same question - "Do you know what I am going to say?" Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered "YES" while the other half replied "NO". So Mullah Nasruddin said "The half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the other half" and he left!

[Rasha]

The Messenger of Allah, upon whom be peace, said:
"Every good deed is sadaqah (charity). To meet your
brother with a smiling face and to pour out from your
bucket into his container are sadaqah."

[Rasha]

FOUND IT!!!

The Muslim Has A Sense Of Humour
Dr. Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimi

The Muslim has a sense of humour, which makes people like him. He mixes with them and jokes with them when it is appropriate to do so, without going to extremes or saying anything hurtful. Similarly, when he is serious, he does not go to extremes of harshness and strictness. His humour is within the limits of Islamic tolerance, and does not go beyond the bounds of truth. This is the example of the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) and the Sahabah in their jokes and humour. It is reported that the Sahabah said to the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam): "You are joking with us." He said, "But I never say anything but the truth." (Bukhari)

The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) used to joke, but he never said anything but the truth in his jokes. The Sahabah took the same approach to humour. There are many delightful reports about the jokes exchanged between the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) and the Sahabah. Among the stories related in the books of hadith and sirah is the report that the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) used to joke with the small child of one of the Sahabah, a boy called Abu 'Umayr, who had a small bird he used to play with. One day he saw the child looking sad, so he said, "Why do I see Abu 'Umayr looking sad?" The Sahabah told him, "The nughar [a small bird, like a sparrow - author] which he used to play with has died, O Messenger of Allah." The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) began to gently joke with the child, saying, "O Abu Umayr, what happened to the nughayr?" [Nughayr: diminutive of nughar. - author. In Arabic, this is a play on words, because of the rhyme between the boy's name and that of the bird. - Translator. This story was reported in Hayat al-Sahabah, 3/149]

A man came to the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) to ask him to give him a beast to ride. The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) jokingly told him, I will give you the offspring of a she-camel to ride." He said, "O Messenger of Allah (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam), what will I do with the offspring of a she-camel?" The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said: "Are riding-camels born except from she-camels?" [Reported by Ahmad, Abu Dawud and al-Tirmidhi, with a sahih isnad.]

Imam Ahmad reported from Anas (radhiallahu `anhu) that there was a man from the desert people whose name was Zahir. He used to bring gifts from the desert to the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam), and in return the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) would provide him with whatever he needed when he went out to fight. The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "Zahir is our man of the desert, and we are his town-dwellers." The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) loved him very much, and he (Zahir) was an ugly man. One day the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) came to him whilst he was selling some goods. He embraced him from behind. The man could not see him, so he said, "Let me go! Who is this?" Then he turned around and recognized the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam), so he tried to move closer to him once he knew who it was. The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) started to say, "Who will buy this slave?" Zahir said, "O Messenger of Allah (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam), you will find me unsellable." The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "But in the sight of Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) you are not unsellable," or he said, "But in the sight of Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) you are valuable."

An old woman came to the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) and said: "O Messenger of Allah, pray to Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) that I will enter Paradise." He said jokingly, "O Mother of So-and-so, no old women will enter Paradise." The old woman went away crying, so the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said, "Tell her that she will not enter Paradise as an old woman, for Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) says: (We have created [their Companions] of special creation, and made them virgin-pure [and undefiled]) (Qur'an 56:35-36)." Reported by al-Tirmidhi, it is hasan because of the existence of corroborating reports.

One of the hadiths that reflects the Prophet's sense of humour and enjoyment of fun is the report that Ahmad gives ftom 'A'ishah who said: "I went out with the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) on a journey. At that time I was a young girl and was quite slender. The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) told the people, 'Go on ahead,' so they went ahead, then he said to me, 'Come, let us have a race.' So I raced with him, and I won. He let the matter rest until I had gained weight. Later, I accompanied him on another journey. He told the people, 'Go on ahead,' so they went ahead. He said to me, 'Come, let us have a race.' So I raced with him, and he won. He began to laugh, and said, 'This is for that."'

The Sahabah saw nothing wrong with joking or having fun, as they saw the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam), their leader and teacher, occasionally doing so. The many delightful stories about their sense of humour reflect the easy-going nature of the first Islamic society, and how far removed it was from narrow-mindedness and gloom.

In al-Adab al-Mufrad, Bukhari reports from Bakr ibn 'Abdillah who said: "The Companions of the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam ) used to throw melon-rinds at one another, but when the matter was serious, they were the only true men."

This is moderate, Islamically acceptable humour, which does not go beyond the bounds of truth, or lessen the gravitas or manhood of a person. Rather, it serves its purpose of refreshing hearts and minds.

An example of the Sahabah's sense of humour, which made the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) laugh, is the report given by Imam Ahmad from Umm. Salamah (radhiallahu `anha). Abil Bakr (radhiallahu `anhu) went to do business in Busra, and with him were Nu'ayman and Suwaybit ibn Harmalah (radhiallahu `anhuma), both of whom had been present at Badr. Suwaybit was in charge of food on the journey, and Nu'ayman said to him, "Feed me!" Suwaybit said, "Not until Abu Bakr (radhiallahu `anhu) comes." Nu'ayman was a fun-loving man with a sense of humour, so he went to some people who had brought livestock with them, and said, "Will you buy a sturdy Arab slave from me?" They said, "Yes." He said, "He has a big mouth, and he may tell you that he is a free man. If that means that you do not want to take him, then forget the matter, and do not cause trouble for me with him." They said, "No problem, we will buy him." So they bought him for ten young she-camels. Nu'ayman brought the animals back, and told the people: "There he is!" Suwaybit said: "I am a free man!" They said, "He has already told us all about you," and put a rope around his neck and led him away. Then Abu Bakr came, and was told what had happened. He and his companions went and returned the animals and took Suwaybit back. They told the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) what had happened, and he and his Sahabah would laugh about the story for a year afterwards.

A Bedouin came to the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam). He entered the mosque and left his camel in the courtyard. Some of his Companions said to Nu'ayman ibn 'Amr al-Ansari, who was known as al-Nu'ayman: "If you slaughter it, we will eat it, because we want to have some meat, and the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) will pay for it." So al-Nu'ayman slaughtered it. Then the Bedouin came out and saw his saddle, so he shouted, "They have slaughtered my camel, O Muhammad!" The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) came out and asked: "Who did this?" They said, "Al-Nu'ayman." So he went looking for him, and found him at the home of Duba'ah bint al-Zubayr ibn 'Abdul Muttalib (radhiallahu `anha), where he had hidden in a ditch and covered himself with palm branches and leaves. A man pointed to where he was and said, loudly, "I have not seen him, O Messenger of Allah." The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) brought him out of the ditch, and his face was dirty from where the leaves had fallen on him. The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) asked him, "Why did you do that?" Al-Nu'ayrnan said: "The ones who told you where I was, O Messenger of Allah, are the same ones who told me to do it." The Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) began wiping his face and laughing, then he paid the price of the slaughtered camel. [See Hayat As Sahabah, 3/154, 155]

There is no clearer indication than these and similar reports of the lightheartedness and sense of humour that Islam wants its followers to have. These qualities will make a person good-natured and likeable, which will enable him to win people's hearts. No one needs such characteristics more than the Muslim who seeks to call others to Islam.

[vancouver]

It is the same book. It was a revelation from Jesus to mankind to show what is to take place and has a lot of relevance to our day and beyond. The first prophesy at Genesis chapter 3 verse 15 is fully brought to fruition and understanding in the book of revelation. The original serpent is proved to be Satan the Devil. The seed of God's woman(his heavenly organisation)is proved to be primarily Jesus who was bruised in the heel at his sacrificial death and he goes on to bruise Satan in the head(future). He was the one who ousted Satan and his demons down to the earth in 1914 where Satan is now concentrating on turning as many people as possible against God. Revelation is of the utmost importance to all people on the earth whatever beliefs they might have at present.

[Netcurtains]

Well you had a bit of fun here.
Why don't you have a go at the athiests?
Netcurtains seems to have come a cropper there.
Go on answer their questions ....

http://pub90.ezboard.com/finstituteforunicornresearchfrm4.showMessage?topic ID=11.topic

Christians love having a go at other religions - how come I seem to be the only one trying to bring Jesus to Athiests - Why is it?

Come on you shower of Christians - get stuck into the athiests.

[JaLaaL]

hahaha...

Lets make a deal Curtains.

You convert them to christianity and then bring them here, we convert them -with God's Will- to muslims.

:D