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Nida
11-06-2003, 11:26
Marriage: Encouragement from a Brother By Iftikhar ..Featured at the website of the MSA of University of Houston....



When I started looking for a wife, my only intention was to find a muslim woman who could help me become a better Muslim. After praying to Allah many times, I came to know that a Muslim brother in my area had an unwed sister. I was told that she was 7 years older than I was, had no college education, and had minor health problems. Despite this, I arranged for a meeting to discuss the possibility of marriage. When I met her, I was impressed by her modesty (she wore a real hijab that covered everything but her face). She was not attractive, nor was she rich. However, at the conclusion of our meeting, I felt comfortable with the fact that she was what I was looking for. After praying Istikhara, I felt confident that she was right for me. Our nikaah was performed only a few weeks later.

Oh yeah, this was a Muslim wedding - the kind where the men separated from the women, we didn't have disco music or belly dancers or any other kind of kuffar stuff. There might have been one brother who was NOT wearing Sunnah. We spent most of the time praying, praising Allah, discussing what a great blessing the responsibility of marriage was, etc. I think the total cost of the wedding might have been around US$20.00 (we held it in my brother-in-law's apartment). I had the time of my life!!!

Despite the fact that she is very stubborn and argumentative, she is one of the best Muslim women a man could ask for. And I am NOT talking about the way she wakes me up in the middle of the night for tahajjud, the way she covers her face in public, the way she investigates every action that I do, the way she will stop talking to me if I don't read the Qur'an or go to the masjid every day. I am talking about her fear of Allah and love for the prophet Muhammed (SAWS).

Not bad for a woman some people called ugly, who has no college education or money.

I wouldn't trade this woman for anything in the world.

Many times when the discussion of marriage arises, I will hear one brother after another talking about how beautiful and educated they want their dream wives to be. Others will talk of love or family/racial pride.

Fools... (with all due respect)

In case some of you are confused as to why I am mentioning all of this let me tell you what I know (straight up)...


A PIOUS WIFE IS YOUR STRONGEST DEFENSE AGAINST SHAYTAAN


Now, Marry a woman for whatever reason you want.. My dua' is with you all.



regds-Nida

muslimah99
25-06-2003, 16:51
Assalamu Alaikum brother, Now i dont know what your version of ugly is but this sounds like one of the most beautiful women i know. With a woman like this it doesnt matter if they arent as beautiful as models because their piety shines in their faces and produces an kinda beauty that make model look like duds. Mashallah.
p.s its not v. nice to say she's not beautiful, every wife would like to think that they are at least beautiful in the eyes of their husband- especially one who, iwould think (and Allahu Alim) would be beautiful to Allah.

hariskhan
14-07-2003, 00:05
BISMILLA-HIR-RAHMANIR-RAHEEM

(SAW)

Assalam-o-Alaikum Respected Brothers and Sister of the Muslim UMMAH!!

Brother, I congratulate you to have found a spouse you wish not to trade for anything. I hope and pray that ALMIGHTY provides such spouses to ALL the Muslims (especially me!!) who are in age of marriage. What Muslim wouldn't wish for a God fearing wife?

About the 'ugly' part. What I think is, if a Muslim girl/woman is even 50% beautiful with all the qualities you mentioned and with all the knowledge I mention in this reply.. like you said 'I'd never trade her for anything in the world', that would be my reply. I'd accept that ugly girl (Girls don't mind).

Brother, reading your article makes me think you overlook the obvious, especially when it comes to knowledge and when you look at the era we are living in.

Surely, Islam has advised that Muslims prefer wives who are GOD fearing, have knowledge of deen, but to just have a wife who only has knowledge of deen is not enough, especially when we talk about today.

It is well known that there are two kinds of ILM in this world. The Deeni ILM and the Dunyavi ILM. Both have a VERY IMPORTANT role in our daily lives.

This era demands that the female member of the household also posses wordly knowledge in excess of the deen's knowledge that she possesses. There are many reasons for that...

1) Its her right and an Islamic obligation to have or acquire all kinds of ILM (knowledge) and as MUCH as she can!!

2) By having Dunyavi ILM (in excess of her knowledge of deen) she can live in the society a life that is enlightened. Be her a sister, wife, mother, social worker or in any role...

3) By having Dunyavi ILM (in excess of her knowledge of deen), as she has knowledge of what practically happens out there, she can prove a better educator for her children or her pupil.

4) By having Dunyavi ILM (in excess of her knowledge of deen) she can help sustain or help stabalize her household socially, financially (in case of an emergency) and in many other ways.

5) By having Dunyavi ILM (in excess of her knowledge of deen) she can provide practical advices to her husband or whoever she gives advice to, thus not being termed as a fool within her family or in the society. Its no knowledge or interest in the world and whatever happens in it that make people term our female as 'stupid'.

6) By having Dunyavi ILM (in excess of her knowledge of deen) she can also sustain or stabalize her society by starting a business. Be it a home based business or any other.

So, in view of the above facts, I'd rather have a wife who is equipped with both kind of ILM rather than just have knowledge of DEEN. I must mention here that I highly respect both (and think none of the two to be superior or inferior to the other) and that I put them on the same level of respect in my heart as a Muslim brother and most probably would marry both kind (The ones having only DEEN's knowledge and the ones having both DEEN and DUNYAVI knowledge). But when asked who you'd prefer, I'd prefer a young Muslim girl who is better equipped to deal with the daily affairs of life.

Regards