PDA

View Full Version : Two points I need to discuss. 1, Mangni 2, Marriage


hariskhan
03-08-2008, 07:03
Assalam-o-Alaikum ALL,

1) Is 'mangni' (in Urdu) part of Islam? The ceremony to bind to people together by 'word' of mouth between families, untill marriage.

Is this another one of the traditions that we have created ourselves?


2) My family has selected a girl for me. She's from a respectable, influential family, my parents say. 'She is bound to be religious, if her family is' my mother says. They are from NWFP, in Pakistan. Yes, I also agree, in NWFP, people are more religious than in other parts of the country. Her family/parents have many links to other people of power or people who are known for one thing or the other.

The girl isn't bad. She's doing her BBA, she's confident, she's .. well skinny (by my standards)

I have a hard time selecting a girl. I have studied with, worked with many, but it seems, my choice is just too 'perfect' to exist. As a result I have made friends, but have always kept myself at a distance.

I'm looking for something in between, someone who holds religion above all, someone chubby. Educated, but not to the level that she forgets her primary responsibilities, to the level so we can have fun, a healthy life. Someone tall, confident, someone who can think, not corrupt or greedy of materials as they say.

I have performed Istikhara, though erratically thus far. I perform it one day then forget it the next day. So far, ALLAH salawatuhu has not indicated anything in the days I have performed it, so I'm confused whether to say 'yes' or 'no'.

What should I do?


M. Istehbab

sister_Harb
03-08-2008, 11:52
w3s

I asked this matter from some my friends from Pakistan as they opinions but they havenīt answered yet. I know some others too whose are speaking urdu but they are living in India.

:o

Om_Mohammed
05-08-2008, 08:53
Assalaamu alaikum.

I do not speak Urdu myself, but as you have described this 'mangni', it seems that it is not necessarily truly based on Islamic teachings. What I mean is that as is expressed by Islamic laws, no two persons (male and female) are bound together for marriage unless and until they personally are agreeable to it. This practice is more or less a development and imposition of tradition rather than religion.

That is not to say that it is not permissable for family or friends to interfer in the process of the marriage proposal. in fact, because of the hijab itself, it may be necessary for a person wishing to find a proper partner to seek out help of others in directing him towards his desirable partner, in order to merely extend a proposal.

As for your own personal requirement or desire (i.e. you mentioned that you want a chubby wife)...keep in mind that although many are quite thin (both men and women) when they get married, the pounds are easily gained through the years. Do not let such a small physical desire keep you from marrying a good believing practicing woman.

That said...I also believe strongly in the power of dua in all occasions, and in particular the istikharah prayer/dua for seeking marriage or any other important life-changing situation. Continue praying this prayer, and reciting the dua, and Allah will not guide you astray, ever. Perhaps you have not 'seen' or 'felt' anything solid in response to this prayer because the 'right' person has not yet crossed your path. It will happen...someday, inshaAllah. Just keep the faith and be consistent.

May Allah reward you with the best wife to enable you to complete your religious duties and help you to establish a wonderful muslim family.

Om Mohammed.

hariskhan
06-08-2008, 14:26
Assalam-o-Alaikum ALL brothers and sisters,

..by chubby, I don't mean healthy or fat. I mean full'ish.

I am praying Istikhara and making dua. I hope ALLAH also agrees with my parent's choice.

Thankyou all!

M. Istehbab

peacepro
13-06-2009, 14:47
All The Ceremonies Exept Valima Are Biddhat In Islam

sipraomer
19-06-2009, 15:40
Mangni is actually translated as engagement which has no place in Shariah. Its a private custom invented or adopted by us from Hindus and other cultures. As far as marriage is concerned I am in full agreement with OM_Muhammad on all points adding the fact that Our Prophet instructed us to choose the finest in faith and beauty is in the least of priorities.